Uncle Garabed’s Notebook (April 16, 2016)

Spanish Proverb

Dung is no saint, but where it falls it works miracles.


A Modern Aphorism

Small nations are virtuous by necessity; they don’t have the force or power to be otherwise.


The Absentee Parishioner

A zealous, and in his way a very eminent preacher, whose eloquence is as copious and far more lucid than the waters of his beloved Cam, happened to miss a constant auditor from his congregation. Schism had already made some depredations on the fold, which was not so large but to a practiced eye the deduction of even one was perceptible. “What keeps our friend farmer B— away from us?” was the anxious question proposed by our vigilant minister to his clerk. “I have not seen him amongst us,” continued he, “these three weeks; I hope it is not Socianism that keeps him away.”  “No, your honor,” replied the clerk, “it is something worse than that.”  “Worse than Socianism? God forbid it should be Deism!”  “No, your honor, it is something worse than that.”  “I trust it is not Atheism?” “No, your honor, it is something worse than that.”  “Worse than Atheism! Impossible—nothing can be worse than Atheism!”  “Yes, it is, your honor —it is Rheumatism!


Yorkshire Miners’ Toast

May all your labors be in vein.



M&M was named for Mike & Mary Azarian, who are as sweet as can be.



Edo: Why the long face, Bedo?

Bedo: I lent my shifty cousin a hundred dollars, but neglected to get a receipt.

Edo: Not to worry. Send him a stern letter demanding repayment of two hundred dollars.

Bedo: You weren’t listening. I said one hundred.

Edo: I know; and your shifty cousin will indignantly write and tell you so. Then you will have your receipt.


What’s in a Name?

Djirdjirian: Turkish in derivation, identified as a descriptive term, jurjur is defined as a chirping or creaking sound; cricket; babbler.
Source: Armenian Weekly Mid-West